So, I used to think of myself as a pretty positive person. Seeing the good in a bad situation. Well, that seems like so long ago. I think it was back when I was employed. I think being employed gave me a purpose I was used to, made me feel good to be contributing.
Now I just feel stupid. Stupid for getting a degree in a field I don't always feel very confident in. Stupid for some of the things I have and have not done. I have had good friends (or Friend) through the years. But I always seem to be wanting more (just a bit). Everyone else seems to have their shit together. I know that is just what it seems and that everyone has their problems but I can't help but dwell on everyone's wonderful success and what seems to be my many pitfalls.
To top it off my in laws have been making my blood boil. I want to just move to get away from them. But with that makes me happy they aren't my biological family and sad for Jon that they are his. With all the complaining and heart ache I have felt with my own family, it makes me greatful to have them.
I know what my problems are and I know how to fix them.
Stop comparing myself to others
Stop reflecting on my past and my mistakes and just look to making a worth while future.
Get back to being positive.
So, I am going to start now.
I grew up in a good family
I graduated high school and college
If I have had only one GOOD friend, better that than none at all.
I am a good/caring person. I may be a bitch sometimes, but I mostly have good intentions.
I am in pretty good health
I feel like I have a good head on my shoulders
I have been loved more than many
I have a hard working husband that tries the best he knows to take care of us
I have truly the best son in the world.
I may not be contributing financially right now to our family, but I am shaping a hopefully good little boy for the world to get to know. Better me then a daycare.