Thankfully Christmas is over

So Christmas was pretty hard for me this year and I am going to keep this short and sweet.

First year of an adult christmas and no children to make the holidays special with.
First Christmas without Ben. It was tough and I secretly cried to myself throughout the day.
Finding out that my sister has dinner with us on Christmas eve and saves Christmas Day for my ex-husband!

Merry FUCKING ho ho!!!

But the rest of the day I tried to make the best of it with the person I love, and the rest of the day with families went surprisingly well (for the most part).

Christmas Eve

So, today we went to my sister house to have dinner. Everything went fine. We tried to listen the babies Heart beat with my sister's stethoscope. We could catch it every once and awhile. It was a little to early to be heard by a stethoscope though.

Candy man

So Jon and I went to my mom's to make candy and gingerbread houses. Jon was hesitant to go. But my mom and I knew he would be all into once he got started. And look at the picture. What do you think?

Entering the real world of "mommies"

I have been in a lot of mom groups, and people may find that hard to believe since I am expecting my 1st in June but its true. And while I love the idea about getting support, letting off steam, meeting new people and everything else that goes along with them. They are so difficult sometimes.
Seeing the same post after same post. I can no longer be supportive for fear I will just say something that is more nicely sarcastic but will just sound bitchy. And I can see even in these early stages how its all a compitition.
Now its, I am already showing, I already registered, I felt it move at 4weeks, and "heard the HB at 5weeks by putting my own ear to my tummy" (please someone explain to me how that is physically possible?) my son's penis is so big we could see it at 6 weeks.
And then it will turn into, my baby smiled, my baby is potty trained at 6 months, by baby can run at 9months, my baby can read at 2. and on and on.
And "room moms" feel like they have to stop something before it starts so its like no one can be in disagreement. And if you are in disagreement, then you should just skip the post and not voice your opinion.
Just because I voice a different opinion doesn't mean that I (or they) are right or wrong. We are just different. But the differences don't have to be silenced. A debate can go on without it having to be nasty. But some can't let it just be a healthy debate, and others can't let it become a debate at all.
So like all the other boards I have been on they start are great, then the disagreements, then the drama, then nastyness, the hurt feelings, and slowly people just drift away.

14 weeks

So I went to the doctor today. Everything went fine and quick. Midwife came in went over my clean bloodwork. Listened to the HeartBeat. She said it was between 150 and 160.
According to the old Wives Tale. That means girl. But we will see on Jan 20th. I am not buying anything pink yet.

Tomorrow marks 14 weeks

And I am going to the doctor to hopefully hear the heart beat. And if all goes well, that means the chances of making it full term are much greater. So my fingers are crossed. I think everything is going fine, I am not too worried.

Bagel Bites and Milk

Just want to give my new husband props.
We were at the grocery store getting something for dinner and I looked at Jon and told him I was craving some bagel bites, he looked at me like I was crazy. But they didn't have any. Oh well.

Well two days later we were at Walmart doing our big shopping, we had gotten separated. I had been in the bread isle and met him in the frozen food. While walking by the french fries towards him something caught my eye to remember the bagel bites, and as I was opening my mouth to tell him about it. He said "I got you bagel bites". I was taken away once again by how much we read each others minds.

Well about a week later we had both just gotten home from work and I made a comment to him about how he could to the store at 3am in the morning to get milk before he had to go out of town. I said this in a kidding way, with no intentions of him really doing this. So much so that I had went to bed knowing I would get up a little early, go to the store, and get milk and a few other things. And that is what I did. And when I get home I put the milk in the fridge right next to the other gallon of milk Jon had gotten that morning.

I love my bagel bite/milk gettin man.

over-filled with love

So,
I am looking through the wedding photos, and came up with a
way to alter 2 into 1. And came across our faces.













All I see is love and don't believe love like that can be faked. When I am depressed and angry let me remember this day and these faces.