"If you seek Amy"???

I just saw/heard Britney Spear's new music video on VH1 "if you seek Amy" (F-*-C-K ME).

Surprise surprise.

Ever since she has "come back" I can't stand her and her songs. Her first song "Womanizer" which criticizes men for being a womanizer but yet she is laying naked on a bench (that's is not necessary) especially when you are coming back from being crazy. I really hated it because it was kind of catchy, and I hate to want to sing along to it.

And now a song that is basically saying F-U-C-K Me. She is just going for shock value, she can't come up with a song that just shows her talent. Oh wait, she doesn't have any talent except taking her clothes off.

I am totally over her, oh wait I was never into her.

Before Baby

Things I want to do (get done) for the baby comes:

clean/organize office
Garage sale
Winter clothes under the bed
Clutter free master bedroom
attempt lasagna from scratch
make "winter, spring, summer, fall" art work for my mom
make a few other art pieces
Try to work out a couple of times a week
make a picture dvd of pictures from our baby pictures

Penny Pizza on Two cents Tuesday

So, my hubby brought home pizza after he got out of school. He surprised me with Pizza. Once of our fave foods. He did one of those order from Pizza Hut online the first time get 20% off. So, he got himself a large and me their special dea medium for .01
That makes me happy that he thought of a way to save money, but DAMN pizza hut. If you are going to do a special you need to make it as good as your regular priced pizza. They obviously only put a penny worth of cheese on this pizza. I was soooooo pissed.

Something you may not have known

I come from a very small family. And my family has been the cause of much of my sadness. I grew up with both my biological mother and father living under the same roof. But most of my memories they never really seemed "together". My mom is my rock. I love her more than anything. But my mom has weight and health issues, that has made her not be in my life as much as her and I would like. My father was always in the house but I never really felt he was there. He is or at least was a very negative person. He can deal with newborns and adults, but not in between. Watching old family movies of when I was younger than 8, he really seems like a good guy and I wish I remembered those things. And my relationship with him is definitely better now that I am an adult and better with me than anyone else in the family. So, that is a plus.

My mothers parents had both passed by the time she was 21 and she became estrained from her only sister. My father is from Germany so his entire family is an ocean away and I have only met a few of them once. My mother's aunt and uncle, adopted me and my brother as their grandkids, but I have also not seem them in over 10 years and rarely talk to them, that it doesn't really feel like family.

I have a brother that is 19 now. But very immature. I blame most of it on the way my father was a father. And my mom tried (tries) to do her best, but he is just not someone you can get close with. At least not yet.

I have a half sister, who is so much older than me she could almost be my mother. We are very different. And while she is a good person and we have never bickered. We have never been very close and seem to be moving in even further directions.

I had a half brother, that passed away about 2 years ago. But after he did some stupid things when he was a teenager, when I was young, he was estrained from the family. He did end up on the right path. And at one point was married to a woman that had MS (the same disease my mom has) and stayed by her side until she passed away. I wish he had lived closer, because I really think we could have been close.

And that is it. 2 parents in all their glory. 2 living siblings that I don't communicate with. And 0 grandparents or Aunts/Uncles or Cousins.

I get depressed often about my lack of family but I try to remember that some people grow up with horrible parents that do horrible things. And some grow up on the streets or in foster homes and have no family at all.

With me growing older, I have noticed how much your parents really shape you into who you are. Whether how they raised you had a direct or indirect affect, it has an effect.

My parents are very anti-social. Which in turn, made me incredibly shy. I have made a big improvement but it is something I have to make a conscious effort on. I become very uncomfortable in family situations. With my husband's family, I just sit quietly as they relive all the memories they have had and I become very overwhelmed when they have family get togethers with all the different twist and turns the limbs of their family tree takes.

So, while I want to teach my children the same values I have learned: manners, respect, responsibilty, humility, kindness, the value of hard work and the worth of a dollar. I also want to instill somethings I feel I missed out on: socialization, adventure, a passion for many things and new things. But most importantly to value the family you have, something I obviously still need to work on.

busy morning

So, I was informed that the grand-laws were going to be in town to see the nursery and take me to lunch. So, that means that I had (wanted to finish the room). So, that meant sewing the curtains and cleaning the carpets.
So, that meant me going over to Amanda's house early this morning to get my first sewing lesson. It wasn't too hard. I got most of it, but not sure my pregnant brain really grasped everything. But they turned out pretty good. A few more lessons and I wouldn't be surprised if Amanda created a monster.


When I got home, I hung up the curtains, cleaned the carpets and the upholstered toy box that I had growing up. I was hoping the toy box would look nice under the window. It is a little to small. But it will do for now. I have to add a little more to the last piece of monkey art and then I will be ready to show off my baby's room to all.

The in laws came. Loved the nursery and then we went to O'charleys.

I have been resting the rest of the day because I felt tired and now I feel pretty hot.

BTW, I went to get the diabetes test done on Monday and didn't hear anything yesterday, so that is supposed to mean I am all good.

Perfect Timing

I have always said and felt that things happen for a reason. And sometimes you don't know the good that comes from change until much later.

As I said before we weren't trying to get pregnant and we weren't not trying. That month (after our wedding) was the first time since I started having sex I didn't worry or think about getting pregnant. And BINGO, there you go. I guess if someone would have asked us, we would have said we would probably wait a little while. Just to be newly weds (by ourselves for awhile). And I always said I wanted to go snowboarding before I got pregnant. And I was hoping that that would be this year. Well, that didn't happen since we are basically having a honeymoon baby.

But disappointment never crossed my mind. Shock crossed my mind, how easy it was. Some excitement. I know I will be getting more excited once it gets closer.

But I have come to realize, that it was actually the perfect time. If we would have even just waited 3 months. I would have gotten laid off, and I would have never allowed us to get pregnant with me not having a job. But while being a "housewife" for 6 months before the baby is born is not what I wanted, I do think that this baby is coming at the right time. And not working for 6 months is just a sacrifice I will have to take.

It is becoming more exciting, thinking about Owen being here in 3 short months. Having the room almost done. Most of the stuff already bought. Reading up on labor and delivery. But I am not naive. I know I have NO idea what to expect for labor. But I am just trying to let it flow. Not to get anxious, not get too excited. It's working so far. But I know I may be somewhat excited, but I am also starting to get the "Oh crap, what have I done feeling". No more ME. No more US (Jon and I). I will be responsible for another human being. Be responsible for feeding, changing, dressing, nurturing, disciplining, guiding, teaching, training and most of all loving. I know the days and moments leading up to the arrival I will overcome with emotions. I am prepared to be a boo hoo mess when he is born. And that is pretty scary for me, because I don't like showing that type of emotion. I guess I need to be prepared to just let my emotions go and just enjoy the life altering change that we are about to enduring.

There is going to be a little person from me and my husband in no more than 18 weeks. Here we go!

Bum Day

So, I don't know what it is with me today. I rolled out of bed a little later than usual 8:30 (and I do mean rolled, after my back cracked). Went down stairs to make myself 2 eggs, 2 pieces of bacon and 2 pieces of toast. Sat and watched my usual "babyshow", started watching an episode of "Jon and Kate plus 8". And thought to myself, " I want to go back to bed". I wasn't tired, I felt fine under the circumstances. Just wanted to lie in bed. And that is what I did. In my "what 10 weeks home?" I have not spent 1 day doing nothing.

Now I am not saying I pack my days FULL. But I always make sure to do something. Go somewhere. Clean something. Paint something. Apply Somewhere. Interview with someone. Make myself useful in some sort of way.

Today, NO. I didn't want to do anything. I feel like this reasoning should have some reasoning behind it. Like being sick or depressed or tired or too big. I am not sick. I am not really tired (except the tiredness you feel from doing nothing all day). I am not too BIG yet. (sitting is starting to hurt my ribs, and my lower lower lower back hurts (that really doesn't feel pregnancy related but more of sitting too much, but its probably just preggoness).

And the weird thing is its really not depression either. While thinking of why my sudden day of not wanting to do anything. I feel like it should have something to do with being upset or depressed. But I really don't feel that way. Don't get me wrong I am not all rainbows. And the reason I am here still infuriates me. But besides a few "nightmares" that wake me up in sweats, I try and not think about it much.

I must say doing nothing all day and having no reason for nothing is hard feeling to described. So, I guess I'll stop it there!

Oppsie Poopsie

Ok, I am totally blaming this on the pregnancy brain.

I WALKED INTO THE MEN'S BATHROOM AT WALMART!!!!

There was a man sittin on the pot and a little boy at the urinal. ( I thought he was washing his hands at first.) But when I realized it was a urinal, I bolted.

It was quite funny. Oh well. I made it through a live. And actually the women's bathroom smelled worse then the men's!!!

This picture has a whole new meaning to me.

Birthday Review

I remember being woken up as usual on my birthday morning by my husband getting ready for work. And him leaving the room with out my typical goodbye "love you" kiss. And I remember thinking to myself "he better be back up here before he leaves, because I'll be damned if I don't get a kiss on my birthday"

But I quickly fell back asleep, just to be woken up shortly after with the biggest breakfast in bed I have every gotten.

2 eggs, 2 pieces or bacon, 2 pieces of sausage, 5 biscuits and an orange. I don't know what he was thinking, but better too much than not enough.
The breakfast was a lot better than it probably appears in this picture.



I had lunch with my mom. I was going to bring Chili's to her work, but there was a break in communication and by the time I got out there, it was realized no one ordered it. So, I just went to burger king, which was actually my second choice. And my mom had brought me 2 chocolate covered with sprinkled doughnuts. (well probably one for me and one for her, but I ate them both)

And then for dinner, me and the hubby went to Olive Garden. Which I got my typical Lasagna and actually ate it all.

So, my birthday was based around eating. But that is ok.

25 at 26

Today I am 25 weeks pregnant. And today marks the day of my 26 years on earth.

It has been 10 years of driving.
8 years of legally being able to smoke, but not smoking one day of it. (not really)
5 years of legally being able to drink, and spending many days doing it.
15 years of being in the double digits.

In my 26 years. I have done somethings. But there are many things I want to do.

As a child I played 4 sports: Soccer, Basketball, Dance and Softball.
Tried 3 instruments: Piano, Flute and baritone.
Owned 4 vehicles: Geo Metro, The little sister to the Geo Metro (the name has left me at the moment), Chevy Silverado (my stupid impulse buy to buy something big) and our Nissan Sentra.
Only been to 8 states, so 44 others to go.
Was in highschool for 3 years and college for 6
I have owned 2 houses.
Been married twice, but only had 1 wedding.

The numbers have been interesting but I am hoping for many more experiences and many more numbers.

Lucky I am, Peeing be me.

So, This pregnancy has been great. Owen is starting out to be a great baby, hopefully it will continue after his birth.

I have had no morning sickness. No tenderness, no soarness. No moodiness. No cravings. Smooth sailing.

But since the 2nd trimester the peeing is gradually getting worse.
These past few weeks its become even more frequent.
It's my own fault, because I don't think to drink water all day. So, when I do drink water I drink more at one time. So, after that is the time the peeing doesn't stop.

Last night I was an idiot and drank a lot of water. So, every 30 minutes I was peeing. (For like 4 hours)


So, anyways. Now I know the need for soft TP.

Two Minutes

So, my interview only lasted 2 minutes. I didn't feel as if I said anything wrong. I actually felt it went pretty well. Except the fact it was only 2 minutes. So, what do you think the chances are that I will get an offer from a 2 minute interview?

Wonder if they could tell I am pregnant?

Waste of Time?

Well, I am off to go probably waste an hour. I have an interview with a contemporary furniture as a sales person. I am not a sales person. Even though I would rather be a sales person at a contemporary furniture than anywhere else. But I can't depend on a commission job right now. And I am not sure if it would be worth it to drive all the way to greenhills.

And it's hard to get excited when I look pregnant and I only really have 3 months left of work time till I will need off. And I am no idiot, the likelihood of me actually getting a job at this point is pretty slim.

But I am off. At least I will get out of the house.