Bum Day

So, I don't know what it is with me today. I rolled out of bed a little later than usual 8:30 (and I do mean rolled, after my back cracked). Went down stairs to make myself 2 eggs, 2 pieces of bacon and 2 pieces of toast. Sat and watched my usual "babyshow", started watching an episode of "Jon and Kate plus 8". And thought to myself, " I want to go back to bed". I wasn't tired, I felt fine under the circumstances. Just wanted to lie in bed. And that is what I did. In my "what 10 weeks home?" I have not spent 1 day doing nothing.

Now I am not saying I pack my days FULL. But I always make sure to do something. Go somewhere. Clean something. Paint something. Apply Somewhere. Interview with someone. Make myself useful in some sort of way.

Today, NO. I didn't want to do anything. I feel like this reasoning should have some reasoning behind it. Like being sick or depressed or tired or too big. I am not sick. I am not really tired (except the tiredness you feel from doing nothing all day). I am not too BIG yet. (sitting is starting to hurt my ribs, and my lower lower lower back hurts (that really doesn't feel pregnancy related but more of sitting too much, but its probably just preggoness).

And the weird thing is its really not depression either. While thinking of why my sudden day of not wanting to do anything. I feel like it should have something to do with being upset or depressed. But I really don't feel that way. Don't get me wrong I am not all rainbows. And the reason I am here still infuriates me. But besides a few "nightmares" that wake me up in sweats, I try and not think about it much.

I must say doing nothing all day and having no reason for nothing is hard feeling to described. So, I guess I'll stop it there!