Friday, May 23, 2008

Weekends don't work.... for him

So, this past week was a very tough week. 10x tougher then going through the divorce. First off it was Mother's day on Sunday and I had Ben calling during the week and that made me just miss him even more.

I told Michael that I would like to see Ben every other weekend and for him to stay with him during the week, so Ben can have a more stable living situation to help with his school behavior. Well he informed me that every other weekends are for "dead beat dads and for Bitches that treat the fathers like shit"

That's when I told him that I guess we will never come up with a solution and nothing else can be done.

This whole thing makes me soooo sad because I have always been there for Ben because I always wanted to do what was best for Ben, no matter how hard it was to deal with Michael. And even me going to just weekends in my eyes is still what is best for Ben. More stable for him but at the same time he doesn't think I just abandoned him.

But this way he was just taken away from me without me even being able to say good bye and have him being told God knows what.

Everyones says I have made impression and that he will always remember me but that doesn't help the pain or stop the tears.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I think I am done...

Last night was the last straw. Michael and I got in yet another "text" message fight that actually turned into a phone call. It all started when Lauren called me to try and get a hold of Michael. And after words with him I realized that I will never be able to adopt Ben and that Lauren will never be completely out of the picture. I had to deal with her when I was married to him but I'll be damned if I have to deal with her craziness now.

Some other things were said and done through out the night that I would rather keep out of the internet world but as of right now I am no longer in Ben's life and I am heart broken. I don't know what will come in the following weeks, but I can't take anymore of this.