Tuesday, July 14, 2009

He may be ready but I am not

So, last night me and Owen got up to eat. Owen fell asleep only after1 oz. And normally as soon as I lay him down and if he hasn't eaten enough he would wake right up. So, I decided to lay him in his crib while I went to the bathroom. This is the first time he had been in his crib because he sleeps in the bassinet next to our bed. Well, he didn't wake up, he kept on sleeping. That has never happened before. I didn't want to pick him up and move him to the bassinet because I was sure he would wake up. And since my bed was calling my name, I set up the baby monitor and headed to bed.

I told Jon once I got into bed that he was in his crib. And he said "Noooo" "can you hear him?" I told him I set up the monitor. And he was back to sleep. But I couldn't get back to sleep. I just felt sad that he was so far away. And I couldn't pick my head up to see if he was ok after every peep. To make sure he hadn't spit up and make sure he was still breathing. So, I spent most of the hour laying and watching the lights on the monitor for each coo he made.

I decided after that, that I am just not ready for him to be off on his own in his room. Boy, if I have a hard time leaving him in his crib, I can't even imagine how hard it will be to send him off to his first day of kindergarden. And what about college?

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